Archive | January 2013

Personality, Part Two

I think people are made up out of parts, pieces of this and that. elements of your life that you put together for viewers.

It’s like there are all these different sections in me, and decide what parts to bring out for what people.

Like a maze with spinning walls and secret passageways that I can rearrange so the path suits the walker.

For every person, I create a new path. Bringing some sections out and hiding others. Sometimes a well lit path with the clean study and the neat room,  most times simple and short. Respectable. Because I am a respectable person. Anyone who’s walked that maze will tell you.

Then there are my close friends. the closer you are, the more paths you’ll find. More forks in the road, more rooms to examine.

And for some, there is no path, no exit to be led to. The sliding walls are all open. The revolving rooms are stuck halfway. The secret passageways are all unlocked. nine thousand and one choices with no exit to this maze. Sometimes, there’s even a tentative map with the interesting bits circled in light pencil marks.


Manic Pixie Dream Girl: My work at achieving pixie status

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the term, an MPDG or Manic Pixie Dream Girl/Guy is explained here.

I’ve had quite a few thought on MPDG-ism.
I recall, after having the term explained to me, (and realizing I have quite a few of the books listed on the TvTropes page) that I wanted to be a MPDG, wanted to have an MPDG.
I’m not entirely sure if I’ve grasped the concept or if I have skewered the term to fit my world view, so this is how I think of MPDGs.

I believe MPDG is a state you take on.
You summon it like you put on a nice suit or a good cosplay.
Some people will love you for it, and, like Roxie said (in Chicago),
“I’m a star, and the audience loves me, and I love then for lovin’ me, and they love me for lovin them”

I saw a bunch of Bleach Shinigami dance battling at Connecticon, and I thought that was amazing. I’d also realized then, dancing in costume makes people like you more, because you don’t fit the breakdancer stereotype look (accurate as it is, somewhat).

This year at Connecticon, I did a fair bit of dancing in cosplay.
People thought I was cooler then I was.
I feel that my opinion doesn’t matter. I know, deep down, that I’m not doing anything special, that there are at least 10~15 people here that can smoke me easy, that I am embarrassed, but none of that matters

I am not dancing as myself.

I can make a choice. I can dance as a character, not for myself, but for others. I love that they love me. I do what I know they will want. It’s only for a moment, after all, and their excitement more than makes up for it. I get to have a bunch of strangers cheer for me, they get to see a dude dressed as a wizard dance. Win-win!
Maybe they get inspired or something. Not my business.

Of course, this is unsustainable, because I’m not doing it for myself.
If you’ve ever played a racing game, you know that little N20/Boost/Nitros gauge? There’s a reason you can’t use it from start to finish, the engine can’t take it. But for a moment you are flying, the fastest thing on the road, and it’s a fine way to get that edge to overtake.

Thus, Magical/Maniac Pixie Dream State.

I imagine it is the same with entering MPDS. You become great, You blow some minds. Inspire people. Make them think, make them dream, just like in the books. Be a character in their world.

At the end of the day, you use up the last of your gauge and return to normal.
They have a memory, an inspiration, a belief that their dreams may be achieved.

And you?

You know that you have made a difference. You get to feel admired, perhaps.
You know that someone saw you as greater than you are, and believed it.

You look at those greater than you, cooler then you,  and feel that one day, you too could stand where they are.
They are your MPDGs. They don’t need to know you well to raise you up, make you shoot for the stars. Perhaps a word of encouragement. A slight half-nod of approval.
In fact I once read a post about how much one such inclination of the head from an older head was enough to feel welcome. To know they’ve been where you are before, and you might be where they are now.


I guess that I mean is to inspire.

A better example would be a speech writer. (something I know nothing about)
Yes, you’re spending time and effort to create words that move, that inspire people.
No, it’s not spontaneous inspiration that flows through you when you get on the stage, but is that so bad?

You prepared a speech for an occasion, you laboured over the wording, the length, and other minutiae, seeking the best way to express your emotions, to share your thoughts, your ideals with others. Does that make you fake? What if you’re practising your writing skills and write about something you didn’t feel that strongly about, but through the writing, understood? Is that worthless?

We ponder over the wording of letters, articles and speeches because they represent a statement, an expression of intent to other persons.
We do not, however, ponder over the exact wording of asking a librarian for help, ordering food at a restaurant, or explaining what we’re looking for to a staff member the store.
We know public figures don’t always speak like they do at the podium or on stage, as we know actors may be different from their characters. Still, we might think of the character when we see the actor in the news.

I guess what I mean is that to be an MPDG is to acknowledge that you are a character in the play of another person’s life. To look at your character and think “What role do I play? How can I further the plot? How do I develop this character and impact the MC?” (Main Character)